A month after Rylan's death, I decided to go and visit her graveside and buy some pink flowers. That day, when I was in Kroger, trying to pick out flowers for her, the reality of her death and the that fact these flowers were all I could never buy her hit me like a tons of bricks. It totally sucked; it was an "ambush moment." I could not buy her a cute pair of girly shoes, a bow, or even diapers. I could buy her flowers that were quite symbolic of her life...alive and beautiful for a short time, but a few days later, dead.
Needless to say, I cannot bring myself to buy flowers for her again. So Dan and I decide to plant a tree instead, something our family could enjoy, something that would grow over time, and something that we could see on a daily basis that has "life" not death. This tree is our "Rylan" tree. It was planted in front of our house this spring in memory of Rylan.