Videos of Rylan


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Day with Her

If I had just one day that God would give me back my Rylan, at any age I chose, I would love for her to be three years old, the season would be fall, and the day would be a Saturday.

The morning would start off by me waking up first. I would run up stairs to find my two precious girls asleep together in a double bed in their pink and green room. They would be snuggled up next to each other with there dollies. Rylan would have her pink blanket and Anna Claire would have her white blanket. I would sit on the end of the bed and watch them breathe. I would stare at Rylan and finally see what my daughter would look like beyond four days old. What color is her hair? Does she have fair skin or olive skin? Who does she look like? I am in awe of her and have longed for this day since I kissed her good-bye on October 20, 2008.

Eventually, the girls would wake up and we would cuddle in bed, give lots of hugs, and eskimo kisses. We would talk about our dreams of sliding down rainbows, eating a huge ice cream sundae, and being a princesses in a beautiful castle. I would tell Rylan "I love her" and "I have missed her everyday for the past three years." After a while, I would carry my girls downstairs and we would meet up with all the boys in Mommy & Daddy's bed. We would tickle each other, have a pillow fight, and laugh together.

Daddy would make us a yummy breakfast with all seven of us around the table. We would pray and thank God for this wonderful, amazing, and special day with Rylan. While eating, Camden and Everett would ask Rylan a million questions about heaven and about her likes and dislikes. Anna Claire would copy everything her big sister was doing, just like she does with her brothers.

The day would be spent playing with each other and loving each other. We would play superheroes, "house", play-doh, dress-up, and legos. We would all walk to the neighborhood park and swing, run, and enjoy the cool, crisp fall weather. Fall is always a reminder of Rylan. We would go down to the lake and watch the ducks and birds. The kids would gather sticks and rocks and throw them in the water. I would sit back and watch all of five of my kids play together for the first time. I would fight back the tears because I did not want this joy and "complete" family to go away.

When we returned from the park, we would set up our camp chairs in a circle in the driveway, eat popsicles, and talk. We might play a game of basketball or baseball with the family.

That evening, we have a "big" party at our house. We invite everyone we know, family, friends, neighbors, etc. We want everyone to get an opportunity to meet our girl, Rylan. We talk about her to others but so many never met her. Rylan is excited about the party. Rylan is not shy; she hugs everyone she meets. She does not understand why some visitors are crying when they meet her, but her sweet heart is filled with joy. The people who attend now finally understand why we are still sad and why we still grieve for our daughter. Before, they met her that night, she did not seem "real" to them. After a fun evening, friends say their good-byes, but the family does not want to leave because they all know Rylan will not be at the next family gathering. We want to hug and kiss her so we can have something to hold on to until we meet again in heaven.

It is getting late, Rylan comes to me with her pink blanket and cuddles up on my lap. I look her in her big brown eyes and tell her "I love you, and I will see her soon." She falls fast asleep in my arms, then I am reminded of the night she left this world. It was so similar. She was in my arms with her pink blanket when she took her last breath.

I cried, held her tight, and fell asleep. I woke up that morning with empty arms. I was left with a pink blanket and a few memories of my girl. I can't wait to see her again.

Thanksgiving 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful for Camden who is an awesome big brother and leader for all the other kids in the family,

for Everett who is sweet as can be and is so creative,

for Rylan who is a constant reminder of how blessed we are and what in life is really important,

for Anna Claire, who taught us the sun would shine again and gave us a new hope and a new joy,

for Owen, who reminds us God's plan may be different than ours but by far better,

and for Dan through all the joys and sorrows of this life, he's always there! We are on this journey together and he is my best friend! ♥

Finally, I am thankful for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who saved me, who gave me heaven as my hope, and who is always faithful and keeps His promises.


About Me

We love deeper and cherish each day given to us because of our trials and joys in this journey of life.