Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A picture when I was seven months pregnant with Rylan.
Ever since the day you were born, I have asked "why?" I have never felt angry at God or mad at Him because we lost you. But everyday, any time I thought of you for the last 20 months, I ask myself and God too, why? Why did you die? Why did our family experience such a loss and such pain? And why couldn't the doctors save you? Why am I still sad and miss you, even after your sister was born?
Over the past few days, I have started asking "what?" instead of "why?" What is the purpose of our loss? What can I do you help comfort others who have experienced the loss of a baby? What is God calling me to do? My focus is changing from my needs, my desires, and my grief....to helping others. My eyes are being opened to the pain, hurt, and suffering that so many families go through after losing a precious child. My heart aches for them and my compassion is sincere. One thing I am sure of is out of pain comes a purpose. I am timid yet excited about the doors may will open as I ask the question "What?" Lord, what can I do to serve you and glorify you here on this earth?
I love you, My Rylan!
Posted by The Slate Family at 11:21 AM
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